When You Want It RIGHT NOW!!!

There are moments in life when our adult bodies aren't so far removed from those of our childhood.  It's as if there is another layer of self just beneath the surface, like what can be seen with the eyes is just a film coating a tinier reality.  And the foot-stomping, door-slamming, yelling and screaming child wants it all RIGHT NOW!  Trying to speak of an abstract concept like patience to that self is about as successful as embarking upon an introduction to the fiscal cliff or delineating the history of strife in the Middle East.  All that it knows is RIGHT NOW, and instant gratification is demanded.

Perhaps being patient would be easier if there were guarantees.  When I was waiting for God to send my husband to me, I used to assure him that I could be ever so much more patient if He would only assure me that I would in fact get married.  Just the knowing would be comfort enough to get me through the waiting.  But waiting without any certainties is a torment, especially to the child-self.

How am I any different than the child whose questions about when it will be lunch keep driving me mad?  For him, the span of time between breakfast and lunch is an eternity.  We must sound like that to God, making a speck of time a century and fussing over something that will occur in good time.  We may grow up, but we rarely outgrow those longings, those needs, that imperative NOW NOW NOW!  The funniest thing---often when we do get "it," we don't know what to do.  We focused so much on the wanting that thoughts of application were never broached.

Would having had a guarantee that I would most definitely get married have made finding my husband any sweeter?  Would I have learned as much, grown as much, and been as grateful?  Not sure.

My outpourings of please please please and soon soon soon to God----do they sound the same as my prayers to find the person with whom I was meant to spend my life?  I am sure He listened to those with lots of sighing, knowing full well He had a plan for me, wishing I would trust more.  It's as if I can hear him saying, It will happen.  All in good time.  In my time.  At the right time.  Trust in me. 

So why does it seem so unbelievable?  Why so far-fetched?  On my wedding day, right until the point I was actually entering the church, I kept exclaiming, "I can't believe this is happening!  I can't believe this is really, actually, truly happening."  My mother said, "You MUST stop saying that!"  Why the disbelief?  What was the source of the astonishment?  That God would love me, too, among all the other people in this world?  That He actually had a plan just for me?  That something so longed for, prayed for, dreamed of could finally come true?  And if something as complex, nuanced, and unbelievably important as two people falling in love could come to pass through His grace, why not something as simple as the sale of a house?

It will sell, I tell myself.  God knows it.  Oh, for stronger patience and renewed faith.

I walk through the park in this early spring and see the live oaks full of yellow sprays of pollen and pale young green leaves screaming of life and rebirth.  They fill my soul with joy, with promise.  Then I notice wrinkled brown leaves---just wrinkled brown leaves, no sign of life---on two of the live oaks.  They are huge and magnificent and ages old, and I am immediately stricken with fear.  I ask my husband if he thinks they are dead, and he says it certainly doesn't look good when all the other trees are flagrantly displaying life and renewal.  A few days later, I return on my own for a walk of silent reflection, trying to set aside my anxiety and open my heart to spring.  And I see it!  I pull down my sunglasses, jerk them off entirely, just to be sure.  There it is---the slightest, lightest green, a sign of new life emerging from beneath the brown, the old leaves already falling away to make room for the new.  The trees are not dead.  They are being reborn, just like their neighbors, only a little later than the others.  I regretted my walk by those trees, thinking them dead, doubting their viability.  I should have looked at them and said, "All in God's time.  They may be brown now, but one day they will be green.  Just a little more time and a bit more patience.  Nothing lasts forever."

There is fruit on the tree, new life growing all around us.  We might be waiting now, but we won't always be.  Though we might feel like a little child, like NOW is all there is and all there ever will be, when we look back on our lives and all He has done for us, we just know that isn't so.  Though green today, the fruit will ripen and be ready.  That fig tree had never borne fruit for Him, but He gave it another chance.  He was patient, and He believed.

Waiting For Christmas

HOT TIMES, SUMMER IN THE CITY

The thermostat will not go below 79 degrees.  This is actually an improvement compared to the 80 degrees a few hours earlier.  My poor air conditioning is running non-stop.  I even broke down and dusted so that I could put on the ceiling fan.  It helps recirculate the air but doesn't bring down the temperature.  Let's hope the new drapes I just purchased help.  They are blackout/thermal lined.  This is going to be a long summer!!!

Here's the fabric.  I ironed the first two panels for the living room window but still need to do the other two for the dining room.  I love it because it combines robin's egg blue (LOVE) and terra cotta (WARM).  My walls are cream, so I wanted something with a pattern to liven up the room.  It's Brittany Rose by Pottery Barn.

Oh Christmas Tree!

The Christmas season is incredibly busy and hectic for a lot of people.  For a first grade teacher, it's a marathon.  As soon as we come back from Thanksgiving, the children have Christmas fever.  I know ahead of time that I need to get the tree up before Thanksgiving break is over.  So the Friday after Thanksgiving, I went over to Lowe's and picked out my tree.  I LOVE LOVE LOVE real Christmas trees.  However, as a petite single girl, this can pose some issues.  Hauling a tree my size up to my third floor condo and attempting to straighten it while putting it into a stand causes me great anxiety!  Fortunately this year, my downstairs neighbor's boyfriend was coming out of the building right as I was going in with the tree, and he brought it up for me.  This year I purchased a more expensive green plastic tree holder, and it worked SO MUCH better than last year's wobbly red metal cheap stand.  I kept holding my breath waiting for things to get difficult.  Waiting to be mauled by my tree.  Last year, the tree fell down five times (4 of them on me).  Finally I gave up, tied a ribbon around it, and affixed the ribbon to a nail in my window sill.  This year was different.  The tree went up immediately.  Straight.  Stable.  Painless.  Thank you God!  So being a single gal this Christmas wasn't so bad after all!  ;) At least when it came to solo tree assembly and decorating.

Here is the evolution of my Christmas tree experience:

Whew!  It's up and straight.  Okay, time for lights.

 Alright, this will suffice.  Not the greatest light hanging in the world, but I did it.

Let's try the red wooden bead garland I bought a while back.  That might be nice.

Decorations!  I have a few stray ornaments of varied colors, but the majority are gold and red.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE my Shiny Brite vintage gold and red ornaments that I purchased on Etsy.  They really look outstanding.  I know it's hard to tell, as I'm still taking pictures on my cell phone (Where is my battery charger?!) but they make me happy!

A few other favorite ornaments of mine came from a good friend who was moving and needed to get rid of most of her extraneous possessions.  She gave me wonderful vintage indent ornaments.  I always hang those first in a prominent place where I know they'll stand out.  I have about eight of these in red, green, gold, and blue.  These are the only ornaments on my tree that aren't all gold and red.

Uptown Girl at Christmas

While I was at Lowe's buying my Christmas tree, I also bought one of their wreaths made out of real branches from fir trees.  This is the first year that my wreath is "live"---well, sort of, since the branches are now severed from the tree and therefore dead.  I hung my wreath on my fleur de lis hook that usually serves as my key holder.  The fleur de lis is the symbol of New Orleans and also of the New Orleans Saints.  It originated with the French Bourbon aristocracy.  Because Louisiana was a French colony founded during the reign of a Bourbon king, the fleur de lis took root and now symbolizes New Orleans.

 I have a hanging sign that says "Uptown."  I bought it at the arts and crafts market a couple months ago.  The arts and crafts market is held in a park just a few blocks from my house.  One of the many reasons why I love living in the area of the city known as "Uptown."  I can also walk to the streetcar.  Uptown contains incredibly architecturally significant and beautiful homes, lush and vibrant gardens, and two universities.  It has the zoo and an incredible park (see other post) as well as great restaurants.  Uptown is a very family friendly area and is one of the most safe areas to live in the city.  I love being an "Uptown Girl."  (Honestly, I have rocked out to that Billy Joel song many a time ;) ).  So I incorporated the sign into my wreath.  I know it's lopsided.  I had issues affixing it.  I'm pretending it makes it look more shabby chic/rustic.  The tiles that form the word "Uptown" are found on many of our city's street corners.  Of course, they are much bigger.  They spell out the street names and are absolutely gorgeous.

I've had the metal stars for several years.  When I had a house, I hung up garlands of fake pine and put the stars on it.  After being outside in the elements, they acquired a rusty patina.  I decided to slip them into this wreath.  The wreath hangs on the closet door in my living room.  It really adds to the Christmas feel and makes me feel like I'm either in a Dickens novel or in the country or both.  Instead, I'm just a girl in Uptown New Orleans getting ready for the holidays!  :)

(Sorry about the photo quality---or lack thereof.  I have misplaced my camera's charger for the battery and am using my cell phone instead.)

Make It 4 Monday

Today I'm linking up with Cottage Instinct's Make It 4 Monday.

One of my favorite finds occurred at a little shop called Country At Heart.  It was located on Magazine St., but sadly is now closed.  I LOVED this store.  The owner new me when I walked in and was so nice.  She always had fabulous and affordable things, many of which were also unique.  And this particular find was definitely unique, to the point where I cannot accurately state what it actually is.  If anyone can help me, please do!  This post definitely reveals that I'm a city girl.  I believe this is some kind of grain container or seed distributer, but I'm not entirely sure.  At any rate, it was definitely some kind of old architectural tool.  When I purchased it, it was a rusted mess.  I cleaned it up.  Then I spray painted it one of my favorite shades of green.  (Green is my favorite color.)  After it dried, I sealed it with a coat of poly.  I use it as a container for dried flowers or berries.  It can easily be hung and contain any number of things.  I love its vintage country cottage appeal.

(The part that is not spray painted is the label of the company that made it.)

Wish List

I'll never have a perfectly put together home.  Right now it's definitely a matter of money and space.  But even in the future, when I hope these issues are resolved, I have a feeling things might always be a mishmash for me.  I just like SO many different things, and not all of them go together thematically!  Here are some things I'm currently coveting:

Natural beeswax ornaments from The Lace Button

Any of the beautiful elements that help to create the vignettes on Funky Junky Art.

These pretties from Paper Eclectiques.

These country Christmas items from Shabby Chic Cottage.

And lots of old mercury glass ornaments with patina.

My absolute favorite colors are blue and green, and for this reason, I LOVE aqua.  I'm just not sure how this would work for me personally when it comes to Christmas.  I love the way red ornaments look on a tree.  Not sure I'm ready to incorporate blue yet.  We'll see.

Dinner at Eight

I hosted a dinner party (coincidentally during that same Fall Break just mentioned in the last post).  Of course, I'm only now getting around to blogging about it.  What can I say---teaching 24 six year olds can be a bit time consuming!

I made the Barefoot Contessa's chicken with mushroom and madeira sauce and did not even skimp on the cream.  It also had creme fraiche in it!  Yum!  I also made rosemary polenta (another Barefoot Contessa recipe; I love her!) and a green salad.  For dessert, I poached pears in mulled red wine.  They were incredibly delicious and wonderful for my friends who have a gluten free diet and couldn't have eaten a dessert I might typically have made.

My Halloween decorations are out in these pictures.  I love Halloween!

I struggled over the color for my curtains.  My favorite color is green, followed by blue.  My natural inclination is to go with those colors.  For EVERYTHING.  In my old house, all the rooms were either blue or green.  In this tiny condo, I don't want to paint the walls.  I want it to look fresh and uncluttered, since I tend to have a clutter problem.  (I like stuff!)  So I wanted to get color through accessories like curtains, and I also wanted to add warmth.  Something about this room cried out for warmth.  A friend suggested terra cotta.  I saw these curtains and decided they were what I needed, though quite far from my usual norm.  You can't tell, but I have two wicker chair on either side of the TV (massive, ugly, horrific TV) and they have pillows the same color as the curtains.  I like the way the terra cotta goes with the robin's egg blue pillows (from Etsy).  Some days I still have an urge to get new curtains.  But in the autumn, these seem just right!

The weird things hanging at the top of the picture are my shabby vintage Halloween tags.  I hung them from my chandelier.  Of course, little pup had to make it into the photo.  He follows me everywhere.  I have my jadite plates on the wall.  I adore them.  I have to say it twice because I love them that much.  I ADORE them.  If I had my way, everything would be the color of jadite.  Which would be extreme and would probably make everyone sick of jadite.  But never me.  I can't get enough.