Monday, October 8, 2012

Day 8: The Wedding vs. The Marriage

I'll admit it.  My mother is right.  I'm a mess.  However, unlike my usual disorderly scrapes and conundrums, which are entirely of my own making, this time she's contributed to the mess.  I don't just mean that physically my home is a mess, though that might be true.  I also mean that my physical and emotional state right now is in a bit of an uproar.  Neck ache, back ache, pink eye in both eyes, fever, sinus infection, and a nice twitch to make my already somewhat skewed eyebrow more pronounced.  Tossing and turning in the night, lethargic in the day, little to no appetite.

So what's going on?  Am I depressed?  Absolutely not!  I'm the happiest I've ever been in my entire life.  I'm just. . .a mess.

The wedding is 33 days away.  Almost ONE MONTH.

We did not choose to have a one size fits all wedding in a box.  You know what I mean?  The type where you do it all in one venue.  And they provide everything---the cake, the food, the music, the flowers, sometimes even the minister.  That's not our style.

Instead, as Catholics, we are having a big, beautiful nuptial mass in the church.  We've gone through six months of counseling, training, coursework, and preparation.  We've selected readings, music, readers, ushers, etc.

And then, we are having our reception at a beautiful Creole plantation out in the country, owned by my friends, and very near and dear to my heart.  Only all of this means we're getting married at a little church out in the country, an hour drive for most people (hour and a half for many others).  On roads they've never traveled.  In the dark.


My mother has a million questions.  My family, too.  And I am organizing all of it, piece by piece.  Perhaps I shall lose my hair before this is over with, and I will not have to worry about fitting in an appointment with the hair dresser on my special day.

Note:  The above notion is just a myth!

The other morning I caught myself praying about the wedding.  Asking God to please make the wedding a success.  I stopped myself immediately.  All the worry and stress and angst had caused me to lose sight of something.  I shouldn't be praying that the wedding is a success.  I should be praying for our marriage.

From the very start of our marriage preparations, we discussed something that was always very clear to me: your wedding is one day, your marriage is a lifetime.  You should invest more---physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually---in your marriage than your wedding.

I have encountered women who valued their wedding day above all things.  I have actually known women who have gotten married because they wanted to be a bride and later really weren't all that keen on the wife part.  I am not one of those women.  If I had been, I wouldn't have waited until I was thirty and found THE ONE.

Immediately I began to pray for our marriage, for our faith in Him and the love He has given us.

Let's be honest---at the end of the night on November 10th, we will be married.  All the other stuff will just be details.  In the end, it won't matter if the d.j. confuses the songs, the priest mispronounces my name, the cake is inedible, or there aren't enough chairs.  We will be united as one, the night will be over, and our lives will have begun.

God and I get this.  It's just my mother I'm worried about. . .

Clinging to the verse:

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