Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Day 9: Finding the Joy in Being Single

Lamenting your status as a single woman, counting the days to your next birthday, and peering over pictures of friends and former classmates' weddings and babies is no way to live.  Setting aside life plans ("I'll do this when I meet the right guy" or "Maybe when I'm married") or discounting the accomplishments and beauty of TODAY will put you on the path to darkness, not to matrimony or motherhood or joy.  The beauty is in the NOW.  Really, it's all we have.  The past exists in our memories, and the future is just a projection of our thoughts and dreams.  Embracing the great "I AM" that is God, living in the moment, and saying "I do" to who you are today---that is the secret to joy, whether you are single or married.

You will get nowhere putting your life on hold, just waiting.  God wants you along on this journey with Him.

Are you living your real, best life?  Or are you living in the dream of a future that will never be a reality until you embrace who you are in this present moment?

Saying "I do" to yourself first---making a vow to cherish yourself and this life that God gave you---all of that has to happen before you are ever ready to say "I do" to anyone else.

Finding "the one" is not a bandaid, it does not fill the dark holes inside of you, and it does not provide easy answers to all the problems of life.  You and God have to work on healing those wounds, finding strength in the darkness and wholeness in him before you are ever ready to have a life with anyone else.  Share your life with God first.  It's what has to happen before you can share it with anyone else.

Are you so preoccupied with the future that you miss out on the things right in front of you---the flowers in the garden, the smile of a child walking past, the delicious taste of warm stew on a cool night, the comfort of curling up with a good book?  Open your eyes and see the little things, cherish them.  Enjoy this season in your life.  God has you here in this place, at this time, alone with Him for a reason.  Learn to paint.  Walk in the park.  Read the collected works of Dickens.  Take photography lessons.  Make meals YOU want to eat.  Decorate your home with things you love.  Spend time with people who love you.  Foster relationships with girlfriends.  Become each others' support systems.  Listen to the stories your grandparents tell and really be with them in this time of life.

There are so many things that being single has to offer, so many ways you can embrace it and find joy in it.

I know those dinners of one are lonely.  I know watching your best friend and her husband get into the car, leaving you behind and alone hurts.  But there are so many things that can actually help you grown into being a better person while single.  Embrace those things.

And whoever you are meant to be with---you'll be ready for him when he comes.  He will be amazed at the life you have made for yourself.  And until he materializes---enjoy the amazing life and abundant blessings that God has given to you!

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